The Plan Moving Forward

When writing (typing it anyway), I just let the words come through... the sentences form from thoughts that mix with feelings.  There's a certain "floatiness" of state that, when it happens, I want to run to the keyboard and type.  It's not something I practice to improve so much as just endeavor to honor, recording to keepsake my thoughts and to share and have as further material for future writing.  Sometimes I like to talk about things from the past, and having written so much down, I have the ability to search through my computer for when I first wrote about it.  I must be weird, I know.  But this is the person spaceman is getting to know.  And honestly, I'm getting to know me even better because I seem to be going through some kind of flowering.  

This flowering feels like just the beginning... so early on that too many variables are yet to happen and so the future is not settled in any one direction just yet.  That future feels ever-increasingly intertwined with spaceman's.  The possibilities that are in our escrows (Abraham-Hicks reference)... well, I'm not just wowed by the future, but enthralled with the present.  Every time spaceman and I peel off a layer of ourselves and expose more to one another, he throws me for a loop with his perspectives on how best to nurture relationships... and... how much he cares to honor ours.  Sometimes that is taking leaps at just the right moment, sometimes it's enduring a freak out, sometimes it's adjusting a schedule to help another's day go more smoothly, sometimes...  sometimes it's being willing to postpone your own dreams to join up with someone you would like to have along for it all...

This is what spaceman is doing for me, for the third time in his life, he is doing something he did not see himself ever doing again, picking up his life and moving to live with a girlfriend in a state other than home.  I'm very keenly aware of the dream he had, instead of that.  He told it to me 6 months to a year ago.  That was before he and I became a we.  At the time, we both imagined that playing out as he described.  I hold that dream for him, as long as he does and beyond if need be.  Right now though, I can't be anywhere but here... for 2 or more years probably.  And that is the rub.  The rub that when I want to say goodnight, I want to close my eyes and be held by him.  When I want to watch cosmic disclosure, I want to watch it with him, pausing to discuss as we devour it.  There are other things I would like to explore with him, soooo much more than we have been able.  

This week I have been really feeling the frustration.  I've felt it all along, mind you, but it's been especially hard to keep my frustrations tempered.  So when spaceman told me, yet again, the same things we have been saying to ourselves and one another for so long now... "we will work it out.  when the time is right, we'll know."  ~that kind of thing.  Well, that just wasn't cutting it for me in that instant.  So I bounced back that don't want us to fall in the trap of always assuming it will work out but then nothing changes.  To that he responded saying he knows things don't just happen without a little planning and he would like to talk about it some more, soon, and over the phone (we were chatting).  When a cancer is ready, they will move mountains for you.

I'm blown away with having someone who senses my frustrations, recognizes them for what they are, takes them seriously, and responds compassionately and timely.  Having two very similarly-matched individuals opens up a vast array of possibilities... possibilities not even imagined yet.  

I believe we have a choice.  We can choose to go all in and see where this magical intimacy takes us.  And I believe spaceman and I have both decided, we are each all in with one another.  What remains is making it happen, for real, by living together and starting our life together-together... no more of this long-distance stuff.  And now, that plan is filling out.  And it's scary and exciting all at once.  

Yesterday, the morning after we made these big plans, I was relieved to wake up with such a joy in my heart.  No matter the possible worries, my heart just could not be bothered by it. That's a really good sign.  And... it happened again this morning!  How many days of joy will I wake up to, feeling like this???  

You know that state when your dreams for something come true and then you have to think up more new dreams???   Yeah, that's me.  Pretty amazing, isn't it? <3  But I'm not just talking about "moving in plans" now.  I'm talking about being loved and cared for so attentively.  I'm talking about the things I LOVE to talk about are the SAME things he loves to talk about.  I'm talking about sublime, soul-melding sexual connections.  I'm talking about the similar ways in which we each study the world and people around us, draw & employ life lessons to grow as spiritual beings.  I'm talking about a reverence for the Earth, an insatiable curiosity about the real nature of things and events, and a level of understanding of others' motivations and emotional needs that transcends the ordinary.  

But most of all, and it's the biggest, because I didn't even know I needed it... a meeting up of who I am and who he is that ebs and flows and still somehow magnetizes and dances through our boundaries.  Opposites that compliment... all that, too.  

Let me just say this!  He knows astrology and I don't have to explain it... I can just rattle on and he gets it and comes back at me with his own interpretations!  And because we have been cherishing one another for 11+ years, through emails and chats, we really do know one another on a level that has probably been the REAL reason why we "didn't work out" the first time... a serendipitous supposed ending that was really just part of our beginning.  How else does one develop so much intimacy of this kind?  It's a beautiful love story, this story that is ours, one we both agree, could make a great book.  If only I knew how to craft the telling of it into that form!  I would love to tell the world, I would.  But... that story is still unfolding.  I'm sure there are junctions in our futures, for no matter how close you feel with another, you are still yourself and you still have choice.  I am committed to spaceman.  When I think about him moving in with us (timeline is approx. 6 mos, but flexible), I see him joining my family of three, not just co-habitating. Our life together will become the new normal.  And then when the nest is empty and our finances sorted, we will fly the coup! :D

And that's where I stand... knowing clearly that a conversation needs to happen with my kids, and soon.  This post will be out there in cyberspace, free and open to be stumbled upon, and that's not how I want that to go down.  Most likely I will approach them separately, because in practical terms, it's hard to get us all together at once these days.  It will work out better that way, anyway.  My kids seem to love coming into my room to chat, frequently.  

And then there is my brother... I will be handing down his marching orders, asap.  It won't be a surprise, because I have already started that conversation topic - whether he responds or not, I know he is listening, because I know him. 

And since it's still a warm day, I'm going to get off this computer and go take a walk around my gardens.  There is much to plan.

Stolen Moments

What a wonderful day today! My cell phone tells me it's 70 degrees outside while the announcer on the radio on my way to work this morning said it's supposed to average in the 40's this time of year. Now I know this is probably climate change but it's very difficult to be upset with it on an early, so welcome, spring-like day.

Its lunch time now and after running some errands, I stopped by a nearby green area. What I mean by that is, it's just a field of grass with a tiny parking lot and small playground that's devoid of any children today. I come here sometimes just to get some alone time in nature. It's just a small little place and I'm only here for a brief amount of time but it's so blissful to me. Especially on a day like this, when I can roll the windows down, recline the seat all the way back, and just lay there with my eyes closed and allow my thoughts to flit through my mind.

I think I'm an Ambivert these days, an extroverted introvert. I love to socialize, but downtime, alone time, is so very necessary. It's the time when I don't have any obligations or things that I am trying to accomplish. Instead I'm just still. Physically I become more still, and it allows a space where the thoughts flowing through my mind can be noticed. It's these thoughts that help me understand myself... my motives, my inclinations, my feelings, concerns and aspirations.

These moments are almost always stolen. I steal them from time as a parent, from time as an employee, from time as a friend, a daughter, all the roles I endeavor to fulfill. But in reality, there is no greater role for me to pay attention to then the role in which I am in service to my own self. If I don't take care of my own emotional, mental, physical states, then who will? And how will I have enough to give anyone else?

And as usual, it's time to get back to the day's work... for there are never enough stolen moments from my perspective. But, what I do get, always has to make do.

Rising World Consciousness Movements

The only noise is the washing machine running in the background, the keyboard clacking as I type, and an occasional dog's nails tapping the wood floor in walking rhythm.  The kids are in their rooms, have been all afternoon, and my brother got up, turned off his TV that runs constantly while he is here, and left the house.  

Sweet!

Times like these are rare.  It allows me to pay attention to what my mind has on it.  And lately that is a solutions-based world order. It keeps coming to my attention, and I am fascinated to see all the ways in which the reality I want to see come forward, is doing just that.

But I also fear that I have delved so far into my latest subject of inquiry that I would not know where to begin, so, to set the stage, I'm going to share 4 examples of organizations that have caught my attention and are implementing solutions toward a more harmonious world. 

These are implmentation-driven movements, all being more or less isolated movements from one another, but all of which, when considering the need to find solutions in so many different aspects of life... well they are are direly needed in the world at this time.

Sustainable Human's Hylo Gift Economy Network

"We live in a highly specialized society, making it difficult for individuals to bring their sustainable ideas to fruition by themselves. The gift economy network is here to fill that gap."

"The mission of Sustainable Human is to assist in creating and promoting a new economic system based on the collective voluntary gifts of everyday people. The goal is to transition from our current, scarcity-based economic system to a new system capable of creating abundance for all. Bypassing the monetary system, we will voluntarily collaborate on projects aimed at creating goods and services that are given freely to the world, helping to create a bottom-up, participatory, global gift economy." 

Sustainable Human Hylo Intro Video from Sustainable Human on Vimeo.

Hylo Gift Economy Sign-up

  Sustainable Human

Michael Tellinger's Unbuntu Contributionism

"We are nearing a time when we need to transition into a new way of life that is beneficial for all life on Earth. Ubuntu philosophy, as favored by the ranking members of the alliance, may be the means of reaching humanity’s utopian future."

"Michael's major contribution to the field of ancient discovery has been delivering the proof of the tools and artifacts that support his scientific findings. He discovered more than 10 million stone ruins that are not dwellings, but energy generating devices. His Torus Stone, that crashed the TSA security systems at DOHA International Airport in July 2013, has sparked the imagination of the global scientific fraternity in the quest for delivering a new free energy device to the people of the world."

"A real-life Indiana Jones, making ground-breaking discoveries about advanced vanished civilizations at the southern tip of Africa."

;

Ubuntu and Blue Avians Message Part-1
Ubuntu and Blue Avians Message Part-2

Thrive Solutions Hub

"THRIVE is an unconventional documentary that lifts the veil on what's REALLY going on in our world by following the money upstream -- uncovering the global consolidation of power in nearly every aspect of our lives. Weaving together breakthroughs in science, consciousness and activism, THRIVE offers real solutions, empowering us with unprecedented and bold strategies for reclaiming our lives and our future."

Thrive, the movie, was the beginning of the public Thrive movement, and essential to understanding torus forms discussed in Thrive as the basic form of our universe.

Thrive, The Movie

Solutions Toward a Thriving World

Thrive Solutions Hub

Isha Yoga's Inner Engineering

"In the yogic tradition, the word “yoga” is attached only to a complete path leading to self-realization. Isha Yoga is a comprehensive system that integrates the core of yogic science, and springs from the methods disseminated by Adiyogi himself over 15,000 years ago. These ancient technologies have been translated to suit the modern man, allowing millions of people around the world, from every section of society to experience their transformative benefits."

“This life for me is an endeavor to help people experience and express their divinity. May you know the bliss of the Divine.”

– Sadhguru

Inner Engineering