Almost Time!

It’s almost time.  In four days’ time, spaceman will be knocking on my front door.  We have been conversing over the phone quite a bit lately.  Every time we talk I’m initially nervous, but it just takes off.  Last night we spoke for 3 hours.  That’s how it is with us.  We talk and talk and talk, and, well you know… we talk a LOT. 

It’s got to be incredibly sappy for me to say this, but I love this man with all my heart and soul.  He’s incredibly dreamy to me, and I cannot wait to have him on my doorstep Friday. 

A friend tagged me on an article on Facebook, and I just have to share here, because sharing on FB… well, people don’t care to hear how incredibly in love you are.  Why are people uncomfortable with declarations of affection???  (a topic for a different day)

The Goddess Spoke of Love
by Ara

“My daughter, love someone that longs to be open with you to you in all the ways you deserve to be opened wide, not just purely physically.” The Goddess said. “Someone who opens your mind, body, soul and heart right into the depths of your being and opens theirs to flow right back with yours.

http://thegoddesscircle.net/the-goddess-spoke-of-love/

That’s exactly what we have and so much more.  The words that flow out of his mouth and into my ears delight me.  How can this be, this man who reflects so much of me?  How did we get so lucky to have met and met again?  Just look at all the potential we had in the beginning, which was somehow untimely and yet, looking back, planted the most wonderful seed in both our lives. 

Growing up, my parents had a tulip tree in our back yard.  It was just another tree, one that leaned dangerously in towards the house.  When I looked at it, I wondered when a storm might blow it down and crash through the roof.  But it never did.  Year after year that tree just existed there in its everyday lush green show.  Years went by and my siblings and I grew older.  Then one spring, tulip flowers began to appear in the canopy, just a few the first year, then ever more each season.  When they first came, my mom was elated!  She pointed them out and told us how long she had been waiting for those flowers.  It turns out it takes 10 years for a tulip tree to bloom, 10 whole years from seed to maturity.  That’s how spaceman and I have been. 

In December of 2004, we met on an online dating site.  Like it is now, it was in the beginning… we could not get enough of one another.  We connected on so many levels and both slipped into that precious state we call love.  It was long distance then, as it is now.  Our first visit in person was just incredible, a melding I cannot describe with words.  The whole weekend was like that.  And home again he went, back to Virginia to his Appalachian home.  And although the next visit we had with one another saw our demise as a couple, it was never due to lack of love, never.  I still have the charcoal drawing he made me that day, such love in that parting gift, such tenderness, acceptance and vision.  We parted then, but we never lost touch.  In many ways, we continued cherishing one another through the years, through emails filled with the most loving of friendships. We held each other in the highest esteem, allowing whoever and whatever came into and out of each of our lives to be without need to shape it.  Neither one of us had any idea that there was yet a future for us in exactly the way we had once dreamed.  We thought that particular ship had sailed.  Our love caramelized into the sweetest of friendships, held dear year after year, and that was enough.

And yet here we are again!  In four days he will be on my doorstep for the second time, and I cannot wait to feel his embrace.  I cannot wait to look him in the eyes and tell him all over again, I love you, I love you, I love you. 

I joked with him once, I said, “I don’t know how we are ever going to pick an anniversary date.  We’ve never had any particular day that was ‘the’ day ‘we’ started.”  But if I had to pick one, this go-round, I would say Halloween.  Halloween weekend was when things turned definitively into a chosen choice, for the both of us, each our own way.  So, if I use that date, we are 3 ½ months into the mush, the gush, the love goo.  Which means… we are still in the “honeymoon period”… good timing, very good timing. :D  Friday is only 4 days away!