Everything I express is welcome food for his ears. All matter of whimsical, mundane, and concern is fuel for his understanding of how to love me more fully. The amount of care and tenderness, all the ways he goes out of his way to tell me whatever has been running through his heart and mind... it all comes out with an intuitively considered timing and approach.
He asks me probing questions about our future. The questions leave little to the imagination at his intentions, but seeks for me to describe our possible futures. We are creating our future, we are co-creating our lives together.
And when he isn't asking, he's full of wisdom and insight, or he's listening to my constant inner chatter, spewing aloud nonsensical play-by-play thoughts. He listens to me parent. He listens to me read what I write about him. He listens to anything and everything...
This man responds to my every move and admission.
I decided long, LONG ago two things:
1) I won't settle for being loved despite who I am, but instead because of who I am, and
2) I aim to be as authentically myself in order to attract the right person into my life.
Both of those things have been in effect since after my divorce in 2000. It's been a loooong time coming. And both of these are in play with us. The one (1) is not possible without the other (2).
Transparency is key. When I am myself with people, anyone in my life, then that relationship has the right building blocks to form authentic bonds. Through the authenticity of one or both persons, the relationship builds authentic roots as well. That's how spaceman and I are. We also happen to be romantically connected as well, and let me tell you this is divine, complete with ravishings. But it's not his touch that I love most about him (although omg I am stunned lucky with this guy!)... No. That's greater than great, but what I am humbled by most from him is this WIDE OPEN SPACE he provides for me to be 100% myself. This is a sincere space... not space as in "I'll leave you be tonight so you can [whatever]" (though that sometimes happens as well)... this is a deliberately loose space where I can exist just how I am and just however I might become. It's a space where WE can be ourselves, discover our inside jokes, contemplate the universe, discuss anything under the sun and within our consciousnesses. As individuals and as a couple we are each free to be ourselves. I don't want someone who is compromising on what shouldn't be compromised. And if he changes his mind, it's because he's revisited the subject and thoughtfully come to another perspective. Each pass through stance-making can come after loads of new insights.
It's truly wonderful to bond ever stronger with this man. He wants to know every faucet and curve of my mind, body and heart. He's become everything to me. The sun, the moon, the stars, planets and empty space between. He's with me in the energy that mingles between us. I can trust him to be there when I need him most, and I have to tell you that's one hell of an incredible feeling. There's nothing I wouldn't trust this man with, except coding hahaha. But I'm sure he would't trust me to do the plumbing either. ;) Joking aside, it's our transparency with one another that breeds fertile ground, grows bonds, increases trust, encourages intimacy on an ongoing basis.
I seriously could not be happier... except... if he were here right now.
