I'm bummed.
It's been so long since I've written in a particular Word document file, which I was using as a journal for several years, that I forgot the password I had changed it to use a couple months back. I can't get into my own file. :(
Mondays. They're all the same. I'll try again on any other day of the week, preferably NOT in the AM... and maybe... just maybe the password will come back to me. *crosses fingers*
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I'm not really sure what's primarly on my mind this morning. Mostly that because it's more a jumbled set of feelings, none of which are establishing as dominant. For this too, I blame Monday mornings. What I do know, is, I miss writing. I've been way too busy with work lately to pause and purge. And when I do get some free time, I've been doing more mind-numbing activities like sleeping or gaming. Sleeping is better than gaming, no doubt. But Skyrim is kind of fun. My 19 year old and I are playing, not together, but alternating turns. He of course, is way ahead of me. And honestly, I have no real desire to catch up. Mostly, I look forward to spending my time in other ways... like more time with spaceman.
We have about two months left before we are what I term as "together-together" (you know, rather than "together-apart"). I am slowly purging my house, getting rid of 17 years of accummulated stuff. "Stuff" was cluttering things. I want spaceman to show up here with his U-Haul of his own things and walk around and find plenty of clear spaces to ingetrate his own things... things like paintings, books, crystals, closet space, anything... everything that needs a new space to be.
The garage was in the WORST shape, so in order to bite off more than I could chew in any one day, I started there. A glutton for punishment, I am. It took me about 3 full days of work, over a month or so, to get the job "done". Done is relative, because there is still a tall stack of empty boxes my mom wants and can't take just yet, along with another huge area full of stuff she insists on selling in a garage sale. I told her if she does the garage sale, she can have the money from it. I don't do garage sales. I think spaceman does... which I now know, but I had already told her that before I knew. So... anyway... those two piles will sit there, probably until sometime this winter or next spring (bleh). My parents currently have not only my displaced brother (he moved out a month or so ago) and my older sister, her hubby and their two cats all living with them. My sister is having a house built (near me) and it probably won't be ready for another three months. So, the garage over there is stacked full to the ceiling, quite literally. Hence, the back up in my own garage. But, at least it's sorted. The only other "area" of stuff that's not in a permanent place on a shelf yet is my 19 year old's stuff he is accummulating to move out one day. I can't get to the space where it will go until the stack of boxes and garage sale stuff is gone. *sigh* So, I call the garage "done"... for now. It looks amazing otherwise, relatively speaking. And as overwhelming as it felt to commence that project, it feels soooooo much better in there now, and I kinda miss hanging out in the garage, "working" there. Spaceman and I may turn it into a a creative space where we can paint and he can work on furniture projects or whatever else.
There was a lot of boxes of books, CDs, DVDs, knicknacks, etc in the garage that belong in the house. So those got carried in and plopped down in the room they belong, where some still sit - awaiting my attention.
Yesterday I tackled the living room... the books, CDs, & DVDs. We no longer have a TV in the wall unit of shelves and glass showcases. I put a huge aloe plant in a ceramic pot in the open space where a TV goes. I went through movies and music, tossing some into the garage sale boxes. But mostly I purged my book collection. I just kept the books that had the most impact on me through the years. The rest will be A) picked over by my older sister, B) sold in the garage sale, or C) donated. I had several boxes of books; now I can fit what I kept into one box. But, they'll go on a shelf somewhere. Spaceman has a bunch of books, too. I wanted room for his.
I didn't get to the point of putting the books I kept ON the shelves. Mostly they are sitting on the coffee table. I ran out of time. I had a dinner invite over at a friend's house, so the boy child and I ran off before I finished. There is another healthy stack of books on a dresser in my room that I also want to purge and relocate to the living room. That will be next. Oh yeah, I also purged the hall closet and moved boxes and other memborabillia out of my bedroom closet and into the hall closet. Eventually I will make another pass at purging my clothes so that I can turn over half my closet to him. That's going to be tough lol. I've been single and spread out in my dressers and closets for 17 years. It feels good to purge, even if it's a lot of work. I think my bedroom is going to be the last area I purge.
After finishing the books, I'll do the family room. That should be easy. All that's in there is a TV on a small TV stand, a shelf that needs to just go bye-bye altogether, and some boxes full of decorating knick-nacks. Some of those items are cool things I forgot I had. I will encorporated some of my favorites, but the others will land in the garage sale pile, I'm sure. Spaceman has some furniture I'm kind of hoping he will bring, eventually. We don't have furniture for that room. It echos with my brother moved out. Or, we can paint in there. I'm open to whatever other ideas he has.
The kitchen, actually, that was the first place I started purging. I had forgotten that my older sister came over and helped me do that so many months ago. So that's checked off the list. That leaves the bedrooms and bathrooms. I need to start applying more pressure to the kids to purge their dressers and closets. The hallway hamper constantly overflows and no one can EVER find any socks. grrr Both the bathrooms need some handyman work. One project, replacing the bathroom surround (and repairing any plumbing issues), is beyond my skillset. The other bathroom needs a hole in the wall from an outside faucet repair job. I repaired such a hole once from the front yard faucet repair years ago. But I have yet to tackle this one... it's not a priority at the moment.
We also already switched over to using non-chemical, organic wool dryer balls. Spaceman is allergic to the chemicals in fabric softener. So I ordered and tried out dryer balls and O.M.G. they WORK, and well! The clothes are soft when they come out. The only drawback is you might need to not dry things as long, since they dry stuff faster, and when overdried, can produce static. Not really a drawback at all really. It was like hitting the Staples "easy button". Simple. Effective. Cheaper. I highly recommend dryer balls. They just stay in there with every load, no need to replace them, like ever, they say.
It's pretty exciting to be receiving spaceman into our home, at least for me anyway. :) The kids know it's coming, and I should probably sit down with each of them and get a better feel for their feelings on things. But, I don't sense there are any major issues. They have dealt with their dad having new women in his life a couple of times, so I think they have some idea of what that process is like - getting used to another person. It's a huge plus that they seem genuinely accepting of spaceman in my life, and soon, in our lives. I'm not saying I expect it will be a smooth ride, but... we will take it one day at a time.
So it's been really good to have 7 months of time between decision to live together and actual carrying out of that decision. Yeah, it's been frustrating to continue in the long-distance relationship even longer. But, I like the pace. I have never been very successful at relationships before, so for the mere sake of "being sure" that's also a benefit of being patient. I'm so sure about spaceman and I. It's incredibly different this time, in really amazing ways. He jokes around with me in a half-serious way about how it will be like after the U-Haul is unloaded, returned and we are left to face one another in a way that we've never done before... the inital awkwardness, the joy too, the not knowing where to put stuff lol. But... at least with my efforts to clear out the place, prepare it for our life together, he will find enough "options" to not just stick things here and there because it's the "only" place it will fit, but because it feels good and right to place it there. I will rearrange to make any of it happen. I'll do round 15 of purging, if necessary. It's incredibly important to me that the house feels like his home, too.
We are already discussing plans for expanding and improving gardening on the property. He has ideas formulating and said he will sketch up a rough draft of plans to discuss. I'm stoked! I cannot wait to be doing projects with him like that. That's "play" to me. It's work, no doubt, but it's something we both want to make CENTRAL in our lives, this gardening, canning, food-self sufficiency stuff - as much as we can integrate, bit by bit, anyway. While we plan to make our gardens here as great as we can, we are also further defining, imagining, and dreaming up what we want with our next residence. Pretty cool stuff, to dream and create, together-together.
