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I'm sitting at the very desk I sat 18 years ago when I first started blogging.  It's the same desk, the same room, the same house... heck, the same town as I grew up.  My life is here.  

But it's not.

I dream of something else...

I dream of a few acres or more of land in the mountains, south facing.   We'll stand on our porch and watch the morning sun rise in the east and set to our right over the horizon.  My house does that, this one that I'm in.  And spaceman's family home where he grew up (and was living before he moved here), that house also faces south... only it's on a mountain already.  

It's a given that spaceman and I will move away first solid chance we get.  And we often talk about how much space we want to grow things and what kinds of things we want to grow.  We talk about the green house, the cellar, the fields and probably most of all: chickens.

What we don't talk as much about is, the house.  Luckily we have similar aspirations in a house, too.  Simple, but not lacking.  

While it's fun to talk about these things from time to time, it's still a ways off.  But something seems to have changed gears lately.  Little things have been manifesting with a faster pace, and more frequently.  And my dreams are no exception.

I find dreams are my favorite tool for gaining self-understanding.  Dreams can be as creative as the creative force of life itself.  Tarot is another favorite, but dreams come easier to me.

The other night I had a really good feeling dream.  That's rare enough, but this one had to do with the house spaceman and I are building.  I'd like to share it with you.

Ready?

(please forgive the broken style of writing, i'm hardly awake when recording dreams)

Dreamt my brother and sisters and I and all our people (kids) stopped at a taco Bell for lunch, to go.  Karen and i split a chicken taco but i said i can't eat the tortilla.  We got separated and i think she ate the whole thing, but whatever. 

I felt like we were all on our way to help someone at someplace.  It didn't feel like me at my new home, but i guess it was cause eventually they all showed up.  but i got there first.  It was the first day we got the keys and i wanted to explore.

There was a fence in the side yard along the main road, way out past the yard, even though there was more yard beyond that.  There was a giant knee board stuck in the fence. in order to pull it out, which i did, i had to also remove two wake boards that were pinning it in there.   I had no idea why they left this behind. i found little toys here and there across the property, not a lot, just a handful, but it was odd.  like you could tell somebody happy had lived here.

Next I turned on the faucet by the fence.  I got busy fussing with those boards again and before I knew it, the yard behind the fence filled up nicely with water and it revealed an edge (bank) that i hadn't noticed before, though it looked like if it broke through over that way the neighbors wouldn't like it. they'd get flooded!  I went to do something else then when i came back the water had all drained out through a little ravine to the left and down a hill i couldnt see beyond.  Bummer, but it had potential.  I remember thinking where did the water go???  Then focusing, I zoomed in on the crack in the dirt where the water ran out.  I then thought, okay and moved on.

People started showing up and wandering around, but so was I.  The house was blue, light faded blue and older but well kept.  It was along a busy road to the front and along the Great Miami River south of downtown Dayton.  The plot was narrow but long, lots of "side yard".  it was open grass to the left and wooded to the right.

The house was compact and had all kinds of little thoughtful cubby holes to store things or reveal hidden sleeping spots by raising a sliding wooden door.  it had playful things in the house and has creative solutions.  I loved this place the more i explored it!

Out back was the coolest.  There was a queen sized canopy bed with muted faded pink & white sheer curtains with one side of the top pulled back so that two people could lay there and look up at the Stars at night. That was my favorite feature!!  I remember thinking, i can't believe they left this behind!

The only thing was... the backyard itself was only a few feet from the bank of the river. it had about a 15-20 ft drop off a (cliff) that was not reinforced. I knew then this is why the house was sold.  For a second i thought about turning around and reselling it....  but I kept wandering the house and finding more cool stuff, and loving it...  I went outside and started taking scenic pictures of it with the river and the sunset, so beautiful.

Don't get too hung up on the end.  It could have been something in our past or something in our distant future.  I'm not going to not live life to the fullest and me in that dream knew that, too.  In the dream, I went right back to admiring the house and surroundings, getting creative, like the house and those who lived there before.  

The house in this dream is a faded shade of my favorite color, blue. It's old, the pink and white sheer curtains are faded out, too.  Why pink? to be honest, I loathe pink, but this was so faded out and it's "small potatoes" in my perspective to the wonderfulness of that bed and canopy... spaceman and I often lay together under the stars at night - GETTING EATEN BY MOSQUITOS. lol

This house had an energy about it that was really good, "like happy people had lived there".  In fact, creativity was evident in the very walls of the place, the cubby holes, the places to hang out and just be.  Toys could be found about from a non perfect house, a lived in house, with kids who enjoyed using their imaginations for play.  The river... well water in my dreams are turbulence or stagnacy or depth or resistance.  But in my waking life, rivers are life!  I think they are all one in the same.  It's the element of water, emotion, in all its manifestations.  We very much want to live next to a river.  

Even the knee and wake boards, and taco bell make some varying degrees of sense.  Dreams start off weird, so Taco bell with the family on a moving day?  Sure, okay. Sets the dream up. The knee and wake boards being stuck in the fence for a really long time?  Maybe people don't have to go riding that river of emotion and turbulence much at this house and they wedged them into the fence to be used for something else.

I think the pond appearing and disappearing is a lesson in how quickly things can manifest, depending on desires.  Again, it's a clear message to my waking self to take the whole dream as fuel and focus for our home.  Our next home will be like this, but this one, where we live right now?  ... it is already become like that in many ways. Every single day feels like that.  And what better way to manifest the home of our dreams than to begin living it when before it becomes reality.