Tomorrow marks four weeks since spaceman arrived in a U-Haul truck with all his belongings, unloaded, and merged his life with ours. It’s as good a time to reflect as any.
We made this decision back in February, a full seven months prior, so that three things could be accomplished. First, I needed to lovingly have my brother move out, which meant giving him plenty of lead time and control over his process. That, I did. That, he did. Second, I wanted to also give my kids and I a couple of months to readjust on our own, without my brother and without yet introducing spaceman into the household. This turned out to be a wise, wise decision. Sweet and slow was key. Third and certainly not least, was that spaceman also needed time to ease his parents into his not only moving out, but leaving the state… this meant he would not be around anymore to perform the physical work their home and property needs, as well as caring for them in a variety of ways. To me it made sense that if he planted a garden there in the spring, then he should be there to see it through to its tear down. So late September ended up being our move-in date.
During those seven months of lead-time, he often asked me to imagine what I thought it would be like in these first few weeks of adjusting to our new living arrangements. It was a big leap! Having had a long-distance relationship up until the move-in, we had bitten off a larger chunk to chew than, say, a couple that has been dating locally for a while and therefore have had numerous opportunities to experience nuances and all that jazz. So while we made it a priority to travel and visit one another as often as we could during those seven months (4 visits!), we still had very little “in-person” time together before we made that particular leap.
We knew there would be a somewhat awkward period of time in these first few weeks. New habits, new routines, new privacy rules for our bedroom regarding the kids… a new person in the house who is completely up-rooted and trying to make positive, lasting connections with everyone else in my formerly single-mother household. It’s a LOT to bite off and holding space for these to blossom is the key. And even under the best of situations, these things take time to develop.
Thankfully, the settling is going very, VERY nicely.
I love sleeping with him. I mean, I love actually sleeping all tangled up together. It’s clingy. It’s accepted, encouraged, wanted. Nobody does clingy as well as Cancers… and apparently, this Aquarius. Makes no sense AT ALL! I love it. In the past, I've always had a terrible time sleeping next to anyone new or in any new situation. But with him... I love to feel his naked skin up against mine as I drift off to sleep. I love the way he holds his hand atop mine as my arm curls around his chest... our legs intertwined, his feet flexed to meet mine. When I'm away from him through the day, this is what I miss. My body has grown attached to the presence of his.
And let me tell you, no one I know is having better sex than we are right now. lol Quality, I tell ya! QUALITY!!
Aaah heh… last weekend we attended a house-warming/birthday party at my sister’s new house and had our first occurrence of someone assuming we were married. It was kind of sweet, that awkwardness. Now that’s something else we had occasionally pondered during those long seven months…. And the way things are going so far… perhaps someday that will be in the cards… ;) All I can tell you is that, every single day, I love this man more and more than I thought possible. He shows me such TLC that it puts not just every other man to shame, but every other person!
Last week my car broke down on the highway downtown during rush hour traffic and had to be towed. The shop bill was $630; he insisted on paying all of it. This week the brakes froze up. He paid for those parts and he and my brother (with my dad flitting about) fixed them. Yesterday he found my littlest dog unable/unwilling to get up out of his cage in the morning, something obviously being wrong with him. He cleaned up the pee and vomit messes he found from the dog and sat with him, petting and consoling him until I could get ready for both work and taking the little guy to the vet. Before we left, and thinking the vet might give me the worst news – that he was sick enough to put down – I cried… and he held me while I cried. I have trouble recalling ever having cried while being held and consoled by a man before (other than a family member). Let me tell you… there’s something extremely bonding in that experience. I missed him like crazy all day at work yesterday, like crazy!
This man takes such great care of me in every way I might need or want. He says it is his just the tip of the iceberg, these displays of affection, these ways in which he shows his love for me. He says he cannot possibly convey it with words alone, and I will see in time, all the love he has reserved for me, including caring for my family like his own. His love and selfless caring is my biggest and best role model for how to love others in the ways they need to be loved and supported. In this way (and many others), he supports me spiritually. I am truly blessed by his presence in our lives, truly.
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P.S. The little dog is doing much better. He’s being tested for Cushing’s Disease today, something treatable, though not curable.
