Last night was "normal" and normal is a blessing. <3 Spaceman and I had a single glass of wine, he with his naltrexone pill (opiate blocker) taken 1 hour in advance, which is perfectly acceptable. We also had some gouda cheese that's a favorite of ours. We ate and sipped in bed while watching some YouTube videos on space and top 10 this or that short videos. He had to be up by 5 am to get ready for work, so we planned NOT to stay up until midnight. I got up with him this morning, which is rare for me. When I get up for work, he always gets up to make me breakfast and see me off. He's sweet like that, and has taught me how to truly show love and devotion (although 5am is really hard for me compared to my 7am wake up time).
2018 started out still rather chaotic from the year before. Spaceman had moved in with us in September of 2016 and by mid-winter that year, his alcoholism had come to light - and I was devastated. It was a degree of that kind of chaos that 2018 was still enduring when it started. He had already been taking naltrexone and following TSM (The Sinclair Method) for several months by then, but he was still struggling through the process. In February, it came to another head and we both figured out what the real problem was, and he put an end to it finally (vodka). Because of TSM and nal, he was able to arrive to a point where he could make a decision to permanently give that up, implement it, and be able to resist temptation. That was early February 2018.
So to me, 2018 was a really GOOD year. I don't care what was going on in the political arena, what truly mattered to us, was us, and we were making great progress towards coming back around to our center together.
Soon there were months of success that he tucked behind him into our past. As the peace piled up, then came the healing and trust returning. We hardly ever argue anymore. There simply isn't anything to argue about. And if one of us feels strongly about something, we know how to stay centered in how we go about discussing the topic with each other. I'm very thankful for a calm, rational, sensitive, considerate best friend and lover. He was just hung up on some baggage that wouldn't let go of him no matter how hard he had tried to get rid of it. Together we conquered, and for that we are eternally grateful. There is a bond now, even though it was already epic in our eyes before, that is forged through the kind of fire that irrevocably unites us.
This is the kind of Love I had been searching for all my life; and he, I.
And now, our future seems bright and exciting. We are taking care of business so to speak and making small everyday progress towards our goals. It feels so good. :)
2019 is the year we can finally start plugging the little holes in our boat so that our plan starts to float. I guess you could say 2018 we repaired the largest hole lol, but 2019 is going to resolve the little things - such as home repair projects, budget concerns, fine-tuning gardening strategies (as always), and continuing our "jump from the nest" coaching for the kids (19, 19 & 22). My own two are continuing along nicely, each at their own pace. The third is my daughter's boyfriend who came to live with us through circumstances we would rather not talk about (it has nothing to do with pregnancies or anything like that). His up-bringing, though his mother did her best, was not the same as my kids' upbringing, and he's - let's just say - lacking some initiative in life. He's a really good person, or we wouldn't have welcomed him to live here, but he's basically jobless and not looking. There are some health complications that he's citing, but they could be overcome with some minor adjustments, or overcome majorly with some major adjustments. It's all his choice, but right now he's what I'll call "resting". He's 19 and simply not adulting as well as my own kids. Everyone begins adulting at their own rate. He could be one of my own kids, so to speak. My own could have been just like that. In fact, my son threw away a perfectly great paying 1st shift job because he was too immature to take the advice of his elders and simply keep it. That's a learning experience. This young man is going through some of his own learning experiences. And to be frank, I am also going through some learning experiences trying to figure out how to approach him on these topics. I'm not hard-nosed, so I can't just make demands and set hard boundaries. I'm more of a circle around and find an acceptable way to enter into negotiations kind of person. Only, I don't know this person as well as I have known my own kids. It's a challenge, one I have been putting off and putting off. So 2019 will also include some additional challenges I did not see having on my plate with regard to our "extra kid". I think first things first: he needs a driver's license and I am going to have to commandeer some cones and teach him maneuverability and make sure he has plenty of driving practice. Then just get him going in that direction. I think that's a sensible place to start. And start I need to do! I took him in, I should have known what I was taking in, but like with spaceman when he moved in, sometimes people come with certain challenges that we, as loved ones, find ourselves helping to deal with, one way or another. We love our "extra kid", and so we will do our best to get him adjusted and healthily empty nested as well.
2019 beckons and we are up to the challenges!
Happy 2019 all!!! <3
