Soon

These are the last days while he's not here yet.  Today I'm working on round 2 of cleaning out the garage.  17 years of crap reside in here.  Yes, I'm sitting in the garage with my laptop, typing away.  When the urge hits, it hits, and I don't want to be in the air conditioned, incubator of a house.  I like the outdoors.  There's a big fan blowing, and that's enough.

Big piles in categories of tools, paint, car stuff, donations, trash, camping gear, my 19 year old's stuff (he will get a whole shelf for himself - his room is really small).  The garage has old kitchen cabinets as a work bench and storage.  I've emptied the shelves of old cans of paint and dated electronics.  There are still so many shelves along the walls yet to go through.  It won't all be finished again today.  I hate doing chores like this by myself.  I know if he were here, he would not let me struggle with it alone.  I miss him incredibly.  

And yet I find some comfort knowing this is the last summer I'll be alone, that is, until the inevitable takes one of us.  We are committed, marriage or not (and that remains to be seen someday), we are each done looking elsewhere.  He's amazing.  Every day he tells me what I mean to him... and it melts me.  I seriously crave his touch, and I'll have it soon.  

In a week and a half I'm headed back to Virginia to see him again.  I've seen him all of a measly four times over 11+ years.  April 2005, May 2005, February 2016, May 2016 and soon July 2016.  Every single visit has been electric... every conversation engaging and new in-between those visits.  I can close my eyes and describe what I see, get lost in an inner world, together with him.  Soon our worlds will integrate physically on a daily basis.  He's coming to live with us in September.  Hence, I'm decluttering the house, starting with the garage... because it needed it the most.  We'll make better use of it, however we decide to do so, once it's purged and organized.  

He paints, draws, plays the keyboard, guitar, and me.... in the most delightful, distracting ways.  We are magic together.  We're magic apart, too, but together... omg. divine bliss.  Sitting and longing for him, such sweet agony not having him.  Soon...

Back to work for me...