Sweet Elation!

Oh lord, how am I going to get anything done for work?  I am so lit from within.  I love the courage I feel to express the whole of my feelings for him in such great detail, to him directly.  I love this intimacy we have, and I love that he sincerely craves it as much as I do.  Finally a match in intensity.  No more scaring guys off.  No more other guys for placeholders.  This man is the real deal.  He’s everything to me.  How will I ever go on without him once death inevitable takes him???  I will.  I just know that I will.  It will suck tremendously, but every second we can squeeze in from now until then is a moment I will treasure for the rest of my life, thankful for it all, every minute bit of it. 

It feels like standing on a windy cliff, sure if I jump my chute will deploy and the ride will be incredible.  No fear, all confidence.  I’ve made lessor jumps a million times.  But this one, it’s the big one, the one I’ve been dreaming and planning all my life.  There’s an intense energy roaring through that I can’t quite put my finger on.  It’s energized.  It’s lovely and powerful.  Oh my gawd, I cannot wait for this to be invoked when he’s standing right before me, with all the time in the world to just be. 

Yeah, I’m stoked.  Yes, I know this high will come down to earth, probably in short order.  Who can predict these things?  Isn’t the greatest part about them, that when they come, they come by surprise, either by timing or intensity or both?  But the thing is, with this man, my man, he brings it back to me time and time again.  When that honeymoon feeling fades to the background, so far it’s always returned.  And the best part about this iteration is that it comes on the heels of an energetic spike from him towards me. 

What a ride!   

10 days… in a mere ten days we will be together again.  I cannot wait to feel my hand held in his… to be walking amid his gardens, drizzling rain or not, tucked up sweetly under his arms snuggling in bed.  And I love that he relishes every ounce of intense enthusiasm that runs through me.  I crave it and it’s sweet, sweet divinity, branded for the two of us. 

And I have to tell you, it’s such a rush dreaming and defining the life we will have together.  In a few short months, these trips will be us travelling to visit family rather than one another.  We will take them together.  We will be together-together.  <3  I feel like such a freaking little kid! Wheeee! :D